There are things that are important in your life. You live with them daily and enjoy it. You begin to envy them and care for them. You later develop a strong bond, something you don’t want to lose. You love it, and now you’re afraid to let go, even if you have grown tired of it.
There are things that are important in your life
I am unsure if I bubbled/wrote in the correct version # for the English part of CAHSEE. SO SCARED. Version 001, which was right in my face, might have been version 007. I’m so delusional and in need of sleep.
I am such an overachiever. Studying for long hours only for something fairly easy to pass.
I can’t even blog about anything anymore
Because apparently, I have an internet stalker behind my back.
That’s why I haven’t been on Tumblr as often.
I hate it when my brother comes over
He only comes to visit. Yeah, not even that important. No one puts their attention on him unless him or someone brings out a topic. What’s worst is when my mom is home, at some point they’ll talk about my flaws when I’m in the living room with them.
I bought nerf darts so I can play with my nerf gun again, but when I got home I found out that it was gone. What a waste of money.
January 26th, 2011
A nice day.
I thought it was going to be the boring as I planned on going to Mcdonalds, alone. At the right time, I bumped into a friend, Remi, who I don’t talk that much. We talked for awhile and she was heading to Target to get a Nintendo DS. Ditching my plan, I decided to tag along. I had nothing to lose; there’s food over there as well as I live closer.
When we got there, unexpectedly, Christine and Ralph, were on our tail. Now all four of us went to Target together. Afterwards, we went over to the bra section so I can get another photo of me in a bra. Last time, a cop walked by as he shook his head. This time it was an old lady, but it was alright.
We all then went to TK noodles and separated from there.
I can say a lot when I’m pretty down
But I have very little when I’m not.
Maybe I’m just so used to putting myself down.
I’m tired of going to that “spot”.
I have no where else to go, but there. And I’ll see one of my biggest mistakes in my life every single time. I’m so sick and tired of consuming myself with regret. The spot is like a shelter. As much as I don’t like what I have in the shelter, I have no choice but to go there and live through it for an hour. It’s not home at all.
I stay silent when my eyes glanced at my mistakes. Begin to regret and wanting to leave this spot, but my legs are nailed down. I have no where else to go, so they’ll be nailed until they rust.
I wish I knew what to do.
BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death)
I had a mini heart attack.
Here I have a basket hanging from the tree, containing my memories. I come by it once a day, I pick a memory up and sadness portrays. I’m hurting myself for going back there, but I can’t control my emotions. It kills me to be losing what are important to me. My tears surpasses its height, my chest will then be stabbed. Each memories in this basket contains a stab to myself. I have fear of throwing them away. I can’t put them in a grave, I am scared of change. So they sit on a basket hanging from that dignified tree.
I adore those one on one days with a significant other. Sitting there, just cuddling. Talking to one another, basically about everything. I mean, nothing sexual. Just real meaningful talks.
When I was little
I used my blanket as a magic carpet, just like in Aladdin, I flew.
After about a year of our break up
You still want to be friends? Weren’t you listening to me in the first place? I gave you a clear explanation and yet you still head on. Are you ignorant? What more do you want from me? I explained to you with respect just to answer to “Can we be friends again?” Must I paraphrase or be more descriptive this time?
You hurt me, you broke me, and you trashed me with the simplest words, “smart ass.” I knew you were falling behind in class and I tried to support you, but you turned your head and said those words furiously. Later on, from time to time I felt disrespected. Out of all the time I was supporting you with care, hoping you won’t fall behind in high school, you pushed me off. What can I do knowing that you won’t listen to me, and the fact that you hurt me with these words. I wouldn’t force you to do anything that may be good for yourself and your whole life, but I would do my best to help you graduate and onwards to college.
I have so much more to say.
I was walking home and I saw a heart.
Can’t wait to see her again.
I have been stressing out lately. I am still jealous of my best friend, I can’t wipe my jealousy off my shoulder. I can’t even be myself when I’m near him. I have also been studying late at night for nearly a week. It’s just raising my temper. Getting cranky and irritated very often. Now I can relax and have fun. Being able to see someone I am deeply into, I’m only able to see her twice a month.